Rushton v Rogrymi'

[Ramd]

So, I guess Rushton, Rog, and Pythia have formed some sort of love triangle, from what I can gather. Rushton says he wants to leave RID, because of Rog. Monday night it all exploded, and words were exchanged in guildchat.



Rushton's story: Rog and Pythia go on heroics together and attempt to exclude him, he thinks they have been cheating on him for a few weeks now. Rog and pythia have spent an odd amount of time together, usually grouped, sitting in his AV-21... I've noticed it on several occasions. He says Py'thia has been planning to leave him for Rog. Rushton says their rl relationship continued until last night.



Rogrymi's Story: Rog and pythia are just friends, albeit close friends. He maintains he did nothing un-gentlemanly, and that Rushton overreacts. He also says Py'thia is frequently verbally harassed by Rushton, and that their marriage was broken up over a month ago, that it was all an RP sham. Rushton denies this. Rog says the whole thing was always a sham. Rog says Rushton is delusional, and mentally unstable.



Py'thia's Story: Rushton and Py'thia have been having problems for awhile, she says he gets jealous for no reason, gets angry at her for going in heroics with rogrymi'. She says rog never tried anything with her, and that their r/l relationship broke off before RID, but that they were still "trying things out" during their time in the guild, so they kept up the RP relationship.



WTF? What a disaster. Rushton says he'll leave unless Rog leaves first.



Guild drama at its finest...what do we do?

[auren]

So, I guess Rushton, Rog, and Pythia have formed some sort of love triangle, from what I can gather. Rushton says he wants to leave RID, because of Rog. Monday night it all exploded, and words were exchanged in guildchat.



Rushton's story: Rog and Pythia go on heroics together and attempt to exclude him, he thinks they have been cheating on him for a few weeks now. Rog and pythia have spent an odd amount of time together, usually grouped, sitting in his AV-21... I've noticed it on several occasions. He says Py'thia has been planning to leave him for Rog. Rushton says their rl relationship continued until last night.



Rogrymi's Story: Rog and pythia are just friends, albeit close friends. He maintains he did nothing un-gentlemanly, and that Rushton overreacts. He also says Py'thia is frequently verbally harassed by Rushton, and that their marriage was broken up over a month ago, that it was all an RP sham. Rushton denies this. Rog says the whole thing was always a sham. Rog says Rushton is delusional, and mentally unstable.



Py'thia's Story: Rushton and Py'thia have been having problems for awhile, she says he gets jealous for no reason, gets angry at her for going in heroics with rogrymi'. She says rog never tried anything with her, and that their r/l relationship broke off before RID, but that they were still "trying things out" during their time in the guild, so they kept up the RP relationship.



WTF? What a disaster. Rushton says he'll leave unless Rog leaves first.



Guild drama at its finest...what do we do?

in game relationships can be very hard

Im going to give you some drama and a real life story of my own if you wish to hear it ?

Many years ago in real life i was in a relationship with someone that was violent towards me. It took me a long time to leave the person because i deeply loved him and blamed the way he acted towards me on his stress from work and work commitments.

While my real life relationship went on a slippery slope i started to look at ways to be busy while my then fiance was at work quite late in the evenings. I first started playing everquest 2 i guess this would have been in 2004 i liked the game a lot and then after discovering online games with a world i could disappear into away from real life problems i started to play star wars galaxies. I loved star wars and i really really loved playing star wars galaxies. I moved away from everquest into star wars galaxies.

After making my character i started to explore the world of star wars galaxies and i loved it. In time i made many friends and one in particular that i got on with better than anyone else. His name was andarru he was a bounty hunter and was extremely popular on the star wars forums and with people in game. Myself and Andrew went everywhere together in game we chatted in real life and we chatted whilst playing star wars the whole relationship felt safe and a million miles away from my real life situation. Myself and andrew swapped pictures (even pictures i had to have taken of my injuries from my real life partner) We built a house together in game and we in time knew we both loved each other. We both made plans to meet in real life and i started saving to travel to boston to meet andrew.

In real life my life had took a different direction. I had been thrown through a glass table by my partner and had to have stitches in my hand and arm. The relationship finally came to a end after i had been pushed down the last four stairs at home and ended up falling and spending a long time in hospital recovering. I now have a injunction that was issued by the courts to stop my ex being near me anymore. I also bought a big dog when i moved into my first home after splitting up.

I recovered from my injuries and decided to visit the star wars man of my dreams but this time in real life. I spoke to Andrew but for some reason felt something was wrong. I found out Andrew had a wife and children !! Andrew told me he looked after his wife who was extremely ill and so there would be problems if i visited. After lots of talking and a joint decision i felt i needed to try to find a relationship with someone who would put me first. Andarru also told me at this point he didn't find the game much fun any more and the only reason he had stayed as long as he had was because we had so much fun so we eventually lost touch.

So you now know in this council message post more than anyone else in game about at all probably knows about me. You can all be scared now by my drama

Do relationships work ? Yes they do but only when you both try really hard and only when you both want to make them work with the same zest. People shouldnt enter relationships or be in them unless they both feel the same but i suppose its easy to say that and try to live by it than it is to actually do it.

I cant explain why it felt special when lexx travelled to me in game to place a house for me and when daiho did the same on dantooine. I haven't had a house in game since i shared one with andrew way back when. The old house i shared with andarru still stands with nothing changed in it on naboo. I sometimes go there and smile and sometime cry. It must sound stupid maybe to people but sometimes online worlds become happier than your real life and when you have to face your real life again you realise how unhappy you are.

I hope you understand why i sometimes go off and do my own thing in game. I hope you also understand why i sometimes go and do the sillyiest things on my own in game or distance myself sometimes. But most of all i want you all to know how happy you have made me feeling part of something again in a game i love playing.

Unless you have felt unhappy for a long time its hard to know why small things means so much to people. Even if those small things have to happy in a star wars game.

The three people in this situation. Well i think we should let them decide what they want to do.

But expelling or alienating people to make someone happy wont work at all ...that would in my opinion be the wrong thing to do.

The three people involved need to talk to each other and work out what to do between themselves. I suppose thats always easier said than it is to do.

[Lexx Yovel]

Thank you for sharing your story Auren. It certainly sounds like you've had some pretty difficult challenges, and I think it sheds light onto how this whole Rog - Rush - Py'thia thing is going down.

Py'thia did mention this issue to me in a mail. She basically said something about the relationship between her and Rush coming to an end. She asked if it would be best if she left RID, so as to avoid the guild being brought into the drama. I said that would not be neccesary, so long as she tries to keep things private and out of guild chat.

I'm sure Rogrymi' won't be leaving, but I'm not sure if Rushton will be in the guild for long. I may speak to him, but I'm wondering if I should get involved or just let it stay it's course. It's probably not so much my thing to get involved in some private relationships. My main job is to look after the guild and make sure we stay intact, and as happy as possible.

But from the sound of this, it seems Rushton may be a bit unreasonable. I don't see any reason to remove Rogrymi', and if Rushton decides to leave because of him, there's probably not much that can be done.

Well, I guess we can hear some more input from Daiho and Arev in the meantime.

[Ramd]

Thank you for sharing your story Auren. It certainly sounds like you've had some pretty difficult challenges, and I think it sheds light onto how this whole Rog - Rush - Py'thia thing is going down.

Py'thia did mention this issue to me in a mail. She basically said something about the relationship between her and Rush coming to an end. She asked if it would be best if she left RID, so as to avoid the guild being brought into the drama. I said that would not be neccesary, so long as she tries to keep things private and out of guild chat.

I'm sure Rogrymi' won't be leaving, but I'm not sure if Rushton will be in the guild for long. I may speak to him, but I'm wondering if I should get involved or just let it stay it's course. It's probably not so much my thing to get involved in some private relationships. My main job is to look after the guild and make sure we stay intact, and as happy as possible.

But from the sound of this, it seems Rushton may be a bit unreasonable. I don't see any reason to remove Rogrymi', and if Rushton decides to leave because of him, there's probably not much that can be done.

Well, I guess we can hear some more input from Daiho and Arev in the meantime.

After a good night's sleep, I'd say let Rushton remove himself. I've actually begun to doubt his sanity too after a few slightly delusional tells were hurled my direction right before I logged last night.

I don't really know what happened with the whole thing, but I'd say let it fizzle out on its own.

[Ramd]

Update: Rushton removed himself this morning.

Now we need a cover story...

[Lexx Yovel]

I'm not exactly sure what to tell everyone.

Maybe just tell everyone he left to reform a new guild, but that his fellow, former guildmates will remain in RID.

[Daiho]

I'll post a comment tonight when I get home.

Sent from my Samsung Omnia.

[Ramd]

How about this, "Rushton left to fly solo for awhile--he wants some time away from guild-life, but he wishes all of RID the best and good luck in our endeavors."

Doesn't have to be anything complicated

[Daiho]

How about this, "Rushton left to fly solo for awhile--he wants some time away from guild-life, but he wishes all of RID the best and good luck in our endeavors."

Doesn't have to be anything complicated

It's ok.

[Lexx Yovel]

How about this, "Rushton left to fly solo for awhile--he wants some time away from guild-life, but he wishes all of RID the best and good luck in our endeavors."

Doesn't have to be anything complicated

Yeah I think that's probably the best way to put it.

[Lexx Yovel]

Okay folks, so it seems as if the story is thickening.

I must say that in the 5+ years that I've been leading this guild I've never quite dealt with drama as dynamic as this.

Ramd said that Rushton wanted to share his full, actual account of the story. I agreed and so I spoke with Rushton for a time about what happened. I will get chat logs of my conversation with him posted tomorrow, but I will give all of you an overview now.

This is Rushton's story:

As it turns out, -'Eliza'- was the in-game wife of Rogrymi'. After Rushton and Py'thia joined RID, Rogrymi' eventually learned that -'Eliza'- was once with Rushton in the past. This set the foundations for a sort of animosity between Rogrymi' and Rushton.

Well anyways, Rogrymi's wife -'Eliza'- had since dissapeared, so apparently Rogrymi' saw it to be okay to seek out a new relationship. He started out by bringing Py'thia (who of course as you all know by now is the wife of Rushton) to different events. Rushton was happy to see this at first, because he wanted Py'thia to participate in some things.

However, Rushton began growing suspicious when Rogrymi' kept forming groups with Py'thia, but excluding Rushton *every time*. I can sort of verify this personally. One time Rogrymi' was forming a heroic group, and Rushton wanted to do some heroics as well. I told Rogrymi' to bring Rushton along, but he was very reluctant to do so.

Anyways, according to Rushton, Py'thia and Rogrymi' would consistently lie to Rushton about doing certain groups together and the like, so Rushton began to feel really excluded. One night he finally had enough and admitted to swearing and argueing with both Py'thia and Rogrymi'. By this time, he informed Ramd of his plight. We knew by now on these forums that Rushton would probably leave RID. He finally did so about a day or two later.

Well, coincidentally, -'Eliza'- suddenly returns to the game. Rushton says that Rogrymi' pretty much ended his relationship with Py'thia by giving her a cold shoulder, and going back to -'Eliza'-. But Rogrymi' learned that -'Eliza'- got a new boyfriend, so essentially Rogrymi' has no relationship, and Py'thia finally admitted to Rushton that she had been deceived by Rogrymi'.

Rogrymi' sort of said it was "karma." That Py'thia's relationship got scarred by turning her back on Rushton, and Rogrymi's relationship got ruined by turning his back on Py'thia.

Well, tonight Rushton told me that Py'thia is driving home to meet him and just forget the drama and "move forward." Rushton, however, is more upset at Rog. He thinks some sort of action should be taken against him. When I asked what action would be best, he just said that wasn't his decision to make, but rather mine.

Rushton says that he loved RID, but could never share guild chat with someone he considers to be a shameful liar (in his view).

I'm unsure how Py'thia's memebership will be affected or what action, if any we should take against Rogrymi'. Rushton wants to be sure that Rogrymi' doesn't deceive a person the same way he deceived Py'thia.

However, I'm unsure if we should punish Rogrymi' because of personal relationship issues. However, there was one public outburst during the recent guild meeting. For those who attended, you may recall that when Rushton made a joke about Rogrymi', Rogrymi' said, "f**k you Rushton." I told Rogrymi', "Hey now, he was only joking." He responded, "oh I know ," and that was that -- we went on with the meeting. From my understanding there was a heated exhange in guild chat. Is there any verification of this? If so, who instigated the argument in guild chat?

Anyways, I would like to hear your guys take on this. You'll probably get a better grasp of the story once I get the chat logs with Rushton posted tomorrow.

But in my opinion, I'm unsure what the best thing to do would be. I want to say forget and move forward, but then again maybe Rogrymi' may form some unstable relationships with more female recruits in the future, who knows.

I spoke to Rogrymi' a bit today (on an unrelated issue), he seemed rather hyper earlier and then humble and pensive later on. He was mostly just talking about getting attendance for tomorrow space event, and how he was just tired with all the drama in the past few weeks.

Well that's about it, I'll get more posted on the day after today (aka tomorrow)

*opens a cigar case, picks up a cigar, puffs upon it*

[Ramd]

Okay folks, so it seems as if the story is thickening.

I must say that in the 5+ years that I've been leading this guild I've never quite dealt with drama as dynamic as this.

Ramd said that Rushton wanted to share his full, actual account of the story. I agreed and so I spoke with Rushton for a time about what happened. I will get chat logs of my conversation with him posted tomorrow, but I will give all of you an overview now.

This is Rushton's story:

As it turns out, -'Eliza'- was the in-game wife of Rogrymi'. After Rushton and Py'thia joined RID, Rogrymi' eventually learned that -'Eliza'- was once with Rushton in the past. This set the foundations for a sort of animosity between Rogrymi' and Rushton.

Well anyways, Rogrymi's wife -'Eliza'- had since dissapeared, so apparently Rogrymi' saw it to be okay to seek out a new relationship. He started out by bringing Py'thia (who of course as you all know by now is the wife of Rushton) to different events. Rushton was happy to see this at first, because he wanted Py'thia to participate in some things.

However, Rushton began growing suspicious when Rogrymi' kept forming groups with Py'thia, but excluding Rushton *every time*. I can sort of verify this personally. One time Rogrymi' was forming a heroic group, and Rushton wanted to do some heroics as well. I told Rogrymi' to bring Rushton along, but he was very reluctant to do so.

Anyways, according to Rushton, Py'thia and Rogrymi' would consistently lie to Rushton about doing certain groups together and the like, so Rushton began to feel really excluded. One night he finally had enough and admitted to swearing and argueing with both Py'thia and Rogrymi'. By this time, he informed Ramd of his plight. We knew by now on these forums that Rushton would probably leave RID. He finally did so about a day or two later.

Well, coincidentally, -'Eliza'- suddenly returns to the game. Rushton says that Rogrymi' pretty much ended his relationship with Py'thia by giving her a cold shoulder, and going back to -'Eliza'-. But Rogrymi' learned that -'Eliza'- got a new boyfriend, so essentially Rogrymi' has no relationship, and Py'thia finally admitted to Rushton that she had been deceived by Rogrymi'.

Rogrymi' sort of said it was "karma." That Py'thia's relationship got scarred by turning her back on Rushton, and Rogrymi's relationship got ruined by turning his back on Py'thia.

Well, tonight Rushton told me that Py'thia is driving home to meet him and just forget the drama and "move forward." Rushton, however, is more upset at Rog. He thinks some sort of action should be taken against him. When I asked what action would be best, he just said that wasn't his decision to make, but rather mine.

Rushton says that he loved RID, but could never share guild chat with someone he considers to be a shameful liar (in his view).

I'm unsure how Py'thia's memebership will be affected or what action, if any we should take against Rogrymi'. Rushton wants to be sure that Rogrymi' doesn't deceive a person the same way he deceived Py'thia.

However, I'm unsure if we should punish Rogrymi' because of personal relationship issues. However, there was one public outburst during the recent guild meeting. For those who attended, you may recall that when Rushton made a joke about Rogrymi', Rogrymi' said, "f**k you Rushton." I told Rogrymi', "Hey now, he was only joking." He responded, "oh I know ," and that was that -- we went on with the meeting. From my understanding there was a heated exhange in guild chat. Is there any verification of this? If so, who instigated the argument in guild chat?

Anyways, I would like to hear your guys take on this. You'll probably get a better grasp of the story once I get the chat logs with Rushton posted tomorrow.

But in my opinion, I'm unsure what the best thing to do would be. I want to say forget and move forward, but then again maybe Rogrymi' may form some unstable relationships with more female recruits in the future, who knows.

I spoke to Rogrymi' a bit today (on an unrelated issue), he seemed rather hyper earlier and then humble and pensive later on. He was mostly just talking about getting attendance for tomorrow space event, and how he was just tired with all the drama in the past few weeks.

Well that's about it, I'll get more posted on the day after today (aka tomorrow)

*opens a cigar case, picks up a cigar, puffs upon it*

I've been an officer in two other large guilds, and I've never seen anything remotely like this either.

I'm starting to doubt Rog's story, there are too many weird things.

Rog says he was never "involved" with Py'thia and never wanted to be, but I don't believe it. Over the past weeks they have become inseparable, doing heroics and just hanging out in his AV-21. After I talked to Pythia in FO, Rog waited outside and "comforted" her. He later gave her is home phone number. IMO, his actions were more than the actions of "just a friend." Py'thia later asked me if Rog was over 18, implying that she wanted a relationship.

Today, I noticed eliza has returned--rog did heroic groups with her, and a few tells meant for her wound up getting sent to me. From what I can tell, they are getting pretty buddy-buddy. Rog then asked me not to accept eliza into RID for any reason, even though I told him I had no plans to. He said it would "create drama."

Meanwhile, Rushton says Py'thia is willing to give a different testimony to me than she did on Tuesday night, when I originally spoke to her.

[auren]

I dont think any of us should get involved with this.
I keep my life in game and real life emotions separate for lots of reasons.
Im right now thinking of starting to use guild talking or group talking for real life talking chat right now i have a microphone but for me at least i want to avoid people like rog for obvious reasons but that doesn't necessarily think i dont want him in the guild just that i want to avoid people like him .

Right now I will talk to really good friends in game about my real life i will talk to good friends about my feelings and what i have done during my day and what i am doing when i speak to them.

All i have seen so far is a lot of the sort of thing i see when i want to escape my real life into a soap opera for half a hour in my evenings. People who have this much going on in their lives and who are in each others pockets as much as these people are will at some point start to argue or disagree.

If we enter into this right now with a opinion i would bet it will be held against us later on when the situation changes. The best thing to do is leave the people involved to their own devices. Drama is always interesting to watch when it doesn't involve yourself (that's why big brother has seemed to be as popular as it has) but unless it affects the guild i don't think we can be drawn into other peoples problems. But that's just me

[Daiho]

The only point I could see that we can get involved it's that Rogrymi didn't want to group with Rushton. RID is a family and in ANY situation I don't wanna see this. Rushton is a very good jedi and I'll take him before any non-RID. This attitude must be forbidden.

We can warn Rogrymi about this and tell him it's the last time we will speak about that and his language too ....

*puff* *puff*

[Lexx Yovel]

The only point I could see that we can get involved it's that Rogrymi didn't want to group with Rushton. RID is a family and in ANY situation I don't wanna see this. Rushton is a very good jedi and I'll take him before any non-RID. This attitude must be forbidden.

We can warn Rogrymi about this and tell him it's the last time we will speak about that and his language too ....

*puff* *puff*

Yeah, this is true. Any sort of animosity between members should be frowned upon. We could warn Rogrymi' about this because he has been rather exclusive when forming heroic groups. I even had a sort of friendly argument with him once where he's gotta start inviting RID's to his groups, that they're perfectly capable of doing heroics.

Well, I think we should just sit back and see how he does things during tonight's and tomorrows space events. If any sort of interpersonal drama continues then maybe action would be neccesary, since it would affect our guild's morale.