Xan's Quotes & Jokes!

A place for members to discuss general information about RID.

Moderator:Lexx Yovel

Locked
Xan
Xan's Quotes & Jokes!

Post by Xan » Thu Apr 21, 2005 11:07 am

Had no idea where to put this but move it if you want. I have always been fascinated with quotes, famous, anonymous, or otherwise. I think some bring wisdom, some laughs, some just as food for thought. I'd like to list some on this thread from time to time, as i think of them, or see them, ect. I think everyone should read these as some can change your perspective on things if you really think about them. And some are just cool, and some teach a lesson or are just funny.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------
FAMOUS QUOTES

1. (look down at my sig, the chaos & nature thing)

2. The only thing that should be left to a conquered people is their eyes to cry
-Genghis Kahn

( have more but can't think of them off the top of my head, to be continued) :)

---------------------------------------------------
FAMOUS AND REGULAR JOKES

Are we having fun yet?

Are we there yet?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

What's another word for Thesaurus?

Who decided what order to put the alphabet in?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why are there locks on the doors to the convenience store that is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year?

Why do they call them apartments when they are all stuck together?

Why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor when you cannot drink and drive? And why do bars have parking lots?

Why does TEFLON stick to the frying pan, since nothing ever sticks to TEFLON?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

Why are there Interstate Highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats, instead of parachutes?

Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?

Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for monosyllabic ?

If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

Why doesn't onomatopoeia sound like what it is?

Does a fish get cramps after eating?

Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a near miss ? Shouldn't it be called a near hit ?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same material?

Why isn't palindrome spelled the same way backwards?

If you see a heat wave, should you wave back?

Why does sour cream have a 'best if used-by' date? Does it turn sweet?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

Why is it called TOOTHbrush when you brush all of your teeth?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds?

User avatar
Santos
Colonel
Posts:1864
Joined:Thu Jun 03, 2004 8:18 pm
Location:Philadelphia
Contact:

Post by Santos » Thu Apr 21, 2005 5:26 pm

lol great jokes i only no the answer to 1 of them: the planes arent made of the black box material because its not aerodynamic.

The Great Quotes of Our Time

1) Just because I dont care doesnt mean I dont understand.
-Homer Simpson

Also, in honor of national poetry day, Id like to share a stanza and a picture!

Icicles filled the long window
With barbaric glass
The shadows of the blackbird
Crossed it, to and fro
The mood
Traced in shadow
An indecipherable cause

-part of 13 ways of looking at a blackbird, by Wallace Stevens.

And now.....

Image
Image

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Apr 27, 2005 3:38 pm

AH! Enlightenment! lol

Good Stuff.

bizob

Post by bizob » Wed Apr 27, 2005 3:44 pm

Why do we drive on parkways and park in driveways?

User avatar
Santos
Colonel
Posts:1864
Joined:Thu Jun 03, 2004 8:18 pm
Location:Philadelphia
Contact:

Post by Santos » Wed Apr 27, 2005 4:09 pm

Because were in america!!!
Image

User avatar
Jaysont
Lieutenant Colonel
Posts:633
Joined:Wed Mar 30, 2005 4:19 am
Location:England, London
Contact:

Post by Jaysont » Tue May 24, 2005 11:42 am

exept it is the same here and i live in england.

___________________________________
Always hunting, Always will hunt.
I walk in darkness, but i do not walk alone.

Locked