Well guys.

Xoseh · Post by **Xoseh** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 3:53 pm

You wanna kick me out or not? I did deminish the name of RID, and I'd 100% understand if you want me out.

If you do decide to kick me, I'd like Kioet to take my place.

Good luck with the decision, I will in no way shape or form hate you if you vote me out. Unless you hate me of course.

Erougn · Post by **Erougn** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:00 pm

Well, first off, I haven't been around and have no idea what happened.

Would you mind posting events as you saw them?

Then I can vote to not kick you out :-P

Xoseh · Post by **Xoseh** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:03 pm

You'll understand why I made this post when you find out what happened.

My anger issues once again came and bit me in the ass, and RID's tag paid dearly for it. I apologize to you all for that.

Erougn · Post by **Erougn** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:17 pm

Well you are one of the most loyal, guild-oriented, all around good guys we have and I consider you a personal friend in the game. It'd hafta be really fukkin bad for me to vote against you. Since you won't tell me yourself, I'll log on and try to figure it out.

Erougn · Post by **Erougn** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:24 pm

Well, as the only black guy in RID that I know of, I'm kinda pissed.

My vote is for the boot. Maybe next time you'll remember this and learn how to act like a human being.

Xoseh · Post by **Xoseh** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:53 pm

I understand, and I apologize to you, Erougn.

I know what I said was unforgivable, but in no way shape or form, am I a racist or a bigot. You can have your opinion of me, but I know what I am and I know what I'm not. I am not either of those.

Erougn · Post by **Erougn** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 6:43 pm

Sometimes it's all good, like when you say "Hey Nigga" when greeting a friend (of any color). When you call someone a nigger as your ultimate insult, you become a racist. In that light, you are not calling someone your friend or "bro", but the lowest term you can think of for a person. In this respect, you are a racist. You picked the term that in your mind would make him feel as worthless as possible. You picked nigger.

BOOT

Maybe someday you will realize that a man's worth is decided by who he is, not what he is.

Xoseh · Post by **Xoseh** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 6:53 pm

As I said, thats your opinion of me. I'm never going to know you in real life, What you think of me because of something that I said in a game has no effect on me. I know 1000% that I am not a racist. You want to think I am, more power to you. Over all the time I've known you Erougn, you have not once seen me express any racism towards you or anyone. Once again though, I made the mistake of using the word, and its your choice if you want to change your view on me because of one mistake. Your choice, I have nothing to do or have nothing to say that will stop you.

Now please, you voted. You want me out. It's been clearly expressed by you. Okay, cool. Stop aruging with me. I know what you want and I'm pretty sure every other officer does also.

I offered my apology, it was your choice not to accept it. Thats on you now, not me.

My apology still stands for everyone else, and if I'm still booted out, I don't really blame you.

Saurat Seerdon · Post by **Saurat Seerdon** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:55 pm

i try not to let the f-bomb slip out in chat or spatial esp since there are 11 year olds playing the game.

but yeah, using the n word is definitely not cool way to vent, i dont really like when people use the other form of the word either.

i voted to keep you in because i believe it will never happen again.

Kurke Aumea · Post by **Kurke Aumea** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 10:56 am

Xoseh, I like you. You're a nice kid. But do yourself a favor and learn to step away from the keyboard for five minutes when shit gets to you. I mean, you got seriously pissed off because someone killed you while you were waiting for a badge. Not some real, shiny metal thing that the president sticks in your chest... But a digital title that displays above your character's head as you wander around a digital galaxy... Then on top of that you went into a verbally violent tirade, banned fromt he game for a few days, and almost left wondering why...

Xoseh, my friend, you're smarter than that. Quit letting your temper screw you over, especially over a video game. There's a million other things to get pissed off about before letting a video game get under your skin like that.

Yes, the guy could have been polite and waited to confront you until after Vader did his thing, but you are also subject to the mechanics of the game. Those mechanics say that you're fair game in those situations, whether you like it or not.

On that note, I voted that you stay. Despite the fact that this is a game, you can learn a thing or two from things that happen in-game. Hopefully you learned to keep your cool, not to go into a swearing tirade, and to keep some words (especially racial ones) locked up inside your head.

Just a friendly reminder, I hate locking threads, so keep it civilized folks.

Post by **Lexx Yovel** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:14 pm

I do understand that the person didn't respect your wishes to hold off fighting him until after the badge was given out... however, the comments directed at the said individual were way out of line, no matter what he did -- especially since (as Kurke said) killing you is simply within the game mechanics. I wouldn't even mind it as much if you strongly insulted him without the racial insults. It's always a big no-no to use racial slurrs, no matter if it was genuine racism or simply intended to offend that one person.

With that said, you should have known that saying the things you said would get leaked, and result in implications against the guild. You even sent me a mail saying to expect complaints... so then why did you do this if you felt we could be held accountable? Especially since you hold a Commanding position in RID, I would expect better of you.

This is certainly the first time I know of that you used such insults, and I believe you when you say it'll be the last -- but it certainly wasn't the first time you've "exploded" so to speak. I can think of two instances where you started argueing on the Starsider Trade Forums about a price check, or got upset at a RID member for winning the Juyo Lightsaber in Axkva Min. Usually though, you're a very kind, funny and helpful individual.

Now, I do think this whole situation could have been handled better. For starters, you shouldn't have brought up this issue on our forums, it should have been sent as a Private Message to me. I'm also upset at Dragonus for posting the chat logs like that (I turned off the link). That too should have been kept private. In fact, I'm not even sure why Dragonus had access to our forums. He's an ex-RID member but now in the guild FORCE (containing the member you yelled at). Dragonus no longer has access to our private section of the forum though.

Now, onto the implications held against RID. T'omo (also member of FORCE) created a post on the Starsider forums concerning this issue. It would have been very embarrasing to our organization if the post had not been quickly deleted. How would other Imperials, potential recruits, or current members feel if they all saw that post if it were still up? It's unfair to do so, but people base their opinions of an entire guild off the actions of even one of its members. If they believe one member to be racist (which I most certainly know your are not), they'd be led to believe that we all are... or at the very least, apathetic to these sort of issues.

This leads to a conundrum of mine, where I'm uncertain whether or not having you remain in our guild is viable option. On one hand, you're a really nice and usually stable member who could be of great benefit to our guild, but on the other hand, it would look a bit "off" if others notice you're still being kept in our guild. Regardless of this, I'm leaning towards letting you stay, but strongly considering removing you from your current leadership position in RID, and will most certainly remove you for any future incidents. In fact, if you ever do plan on using language like you did that day again, do us a favor and leave the guild first. However, I seriously hope that would not be an issue if it's decided you're to remain in RID.

Now, it is my understanding that you do have some sort of anger issues. I have pretty much no knowledge of the subject, but it seems to me that there are other ways to vent your rage. For example, couldn't you have sent yourself a tell pretending to insult the person? Maybe just log off and hit a punching bag? I have no idea if anger issues result in impulsive, uncontrollable acts or if it's managable... so it's probably not really my place to offer advice on the subject.

In conclusion though, I think that the situation can be aleviated somewhat. I don't know how long your suspension is, but I'll honestly have to ask (well, demand rather), that you reach the person you yelled at, whether it's in-game, or in a real life e-mail, and apologize for what you said. The apology will likely not be accepted, but at least it's better than there being constant animosity towards you upon your return to the game.

Xoseh · Post by **Xoseh** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 10:49 pm

LexxYovel wrote:Now, onto the implications held against RID. T'omo (also member of FORCE) created a post on the Starsider forums concerning this issue. It would have been very embarrasing to our organization if the post had not been quickly deleted. How would other Imperials, potential recruits, or current members feel if they all saw that post if it were still up? It's unfair to do so, but people base their opinions of an entire guild off the actions of even one of its members. If they believe one member to be racist (which I most certainly know your are not), they'd be led to believe that we all are... or at the very least, apathetic to these sort of issues.

The post was deleted because of me. I had Jonem report it since I couldn't post on the fourm. I know I can't use my anger issue as an excuse, but I talked to my psycologist and I got a stronger medicine for it. He said if this didn't work nothing would, but I feel like it is. I don't feel any outbursts of anger or whatever anymore, which is good.

I know you all know me better then what happened. I'll admit I have my days, of course they are worse then everyone elses, but I do have them. I will indeed be apologizing to the person, although FORCE has hated me long before this, and I don't really feel any love for them either. I can say now if the person gives me any lip for apologizing I will be putting him on ignore. Also all hate tells and holomails I receive the first thing I log in will be reported.

I know some of you are going to hold a grudge against me, and probably never look at me the same way or even talk to me the same way again, but I want this problem to be water under the bridge, have that bridge collapse, and then the river drained.

Once again, to Erougn, I express my deepest apologies to you especially.

On the other hand, the suspension has allowed me to reconnect with my family, which is something we desperatly needed. I'm not saying I'm glad about what I said, but the suspension did have a positive outcome in a way. It opened my eyes to the fact that people can really become offended by a word, no matter how old said word is. I know I won't be saying any of those slurs I used, or any curses from now on for that matter. I don't want people to hate me (Although thanks to T'omo most of Starsider does now, Woot, I'm turning into Geedo

) but they don't know me, they don't know what happened wasn't anywhere near who I am. Those people can hate me, I don't care. I don't want RID to hate me, you guys are my SWG Family lol. You all know what I said isn't who I really am. I'm just glad you guys are so understanding. Thanks for everything guys.

To Lexx: My anger explosions are impuslive unfortunatly. I say before I think. I tried to get a punching bag but my dad cant find room for one. Usually I just vent off with my guitar, but waiting up for Vader all night and then getting killed on the 26th hour just drained my mind. I do apreciate the advice, though, thank you. The new medicine should be kicking in, and it should be making my anger almost totally null and void.

:Edit: My suspension should be over in Two more days.
::Edit 2: I just looked at the screen shot again and after reading it.. I don't even know who that was. That sure as hell wasn't the person I know I am. I'll be sure which ever side of me that was is executed. I hate myself for even bringing those words to text.

Saurat Seerdon · Post by **Saurat Seerdon** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 12:21 pm

to be honest, i would've done the same thing to a rebel (and certainly have, but he was afk, bounty hunted for around 300k didnt get any /tell about it either).

I've gotten angry but instead of text, usually the mouse gets smashed into the desk repeatedly.

Xoseh · Post by **Xoseh** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 2:42 pm

I've gone through too much computer equipment (including a new tower, half the time it's real life related and since I don't have anything to beat on I take it out on this) to keep doing that. If you look under my bed you'll find so much computer stuff thats all broken cause I don't want my parents to know lol.

Saurat Seerdon · Post by **Saurat Seerdon** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 2:30 am

what you need is exercise equipment, dumbells and pushups helped me at times.

R.I.D BASE OF OPERATIONS

Well guys.

Do you want to kick Xoseh?